From Fear to Spark
Are you angry about things that are happening in our world? Do you rant and rave about things that you think are not going as you think they should? Do you attack others for their beliefs and statements? Do you know you have choices around your anger and angst?
What do I mean, you ask? Well, let me ask you this… What actions are you taking to make the changes you wish you to see in this world?
You see, I was disturbed by much of what I was and am witnessing in this world. My heart hurts daily for the pain that I see humans inflicting upon each other. I recognized that besides accidents and animals, that humans are the only thing that can hurt other humans! Sit with that a minute…
We hurt each other all the time, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Why? Why do we intentionally or even unintentionally turn a blind eye to the pain we inflict upon one another? Often, it is words that break our hearts. We hide behind our screens and say horrible things to people that we are supposed to care about because they make a statement that brings up something within you. Attacking someone because you feel they targeted you by their statements. That is a wound within you, by the way… It is a choice to heal.
Let me back up a bit and explain why I founded the Be the Spark Movement and how you can become a part of a greater movement to create connection in this world.
In 2019, I was attending a 9-week workshop that was supposed to be bringing people together. In my experience, this is not at all what this program was accomplishing, but many kept quiet and checked the box and moved on. I am not a keep quiet kinda person, so I did something to counteract the division and negative energy that I felt in this program. It is one of many events that led me to be who I am and do what I do today.
During one Thursday night session in this program, listening to our “leader” explain to us about the justice system in our world, about the racial bias and horror that African Americans experience, it landed with me that we are continuing to create fear, anger and negativity in the lives of our children, especially our young black males. What I want you to understand, how it landed with me, was all about the young black baby boy in this story… Bear with me… open you heart and feel into this scenario instead of getting angry at me for “trying to take away from this grandmother’s experiences.”
Our leader was an African American woman whose energy of anger and fear was palpable. She has the right to feel whatever she feels, and I do not know her lived experiences or her generational stories that have been handed down to her. What I heard in her story was fear and how she infused her 18-month-old grandson in fear.
That Thursday night, sitting among 20 + peers, I hear her tell this story:
“My 18-month-old grandson was playing with a water gun, and he turned to me and said Pew-Pew. I jumped up as fast as I could and jerked that water gun from his hands and put the fear of God into him! I told him he could never play with a water gun or have any type of gun EVER because if he did, he would surely die, and the police would kill him!”
At that moment, I felt this story in my entire body, the truth as to why our young black men are so fearful, defensive, angry and in danger. They have been and continue to be inundated and steeped in fear from birth. Their foundation of life is fear and not love. Now I am not saying that they are not dearly cherished and loved in their families, but I am thinking that that love is buried within fear.
Now you can and probably will have the knee jerk reaction that they have to be because our world is so racist that young black men get shot for just existing. But allow me to lay out this possibility. They are steeped in fear and react in fear and fear begats fear and that is when a small interaction can turn into a huge, horrific event.
Have you ever walked into a room where two people have been fighting? Or a place where two people have just gotten engaged? The excitement before a concert? Or the adrenaline after a traffic accident? Did you feel the energy in the area? It is palpable and contagious to anyone nearby. Are you with me?
Now imagine you are a 17-year-old black man, and you have been steeped in the fear of law enforcement all your life. It is there, just under the surface of your skin waiting to be utilized. You, the young black man, are driving friends’ home after a football game one Friday night, and do not realize you have a taillight out. You get the attention of an officer, and he pulls you over with the intention of giving you a warning. Upon seeing the blue lights, your fear bubbles to the surface and your defenses go up, you are sure you are about to die. As the officer approaches, your brain is going full on escape mode and the adrenaline is pumping so hard you can feel it behind your eyes. This is what you have been prepared for all your life. That fear fills the car and oozes into your friends, and you all are on high alert, ready for battle. The officer politely asks for your driver’s license and registration, as is the rule. You are flustered and stumbling and shaking trying to find the papers. The officer wonders why you are so scared as the fear grows and the energy escalates…
Can you see how this situation can get out of hand so quickly and easily without intention? The officer, trained to read people, experiences the fear, becoming reactive also. I will leave the rest of this scenario to your imagination. (I pray it turns out well for all parties…)
This was the entire vision I had in a blink of an eye during this Thursday night session at this program. It was almost as if the good Lord showed me the foundation of an issue and put it on my heart to do something about it, because this grandmother’s story lit me a fire! Not one other person in that room would or could express what I was feeling that night and they all looked terrified as I tried to explain to this grandmother what I was seeing.
I got told time and time again that I cannot tell this story, and I cannot take away this grandmother’s experience. Believe me, I was not thinking about the grandmother in the least. (Not to be harsh, at all. Bless her. She has healing to do and generational trauma to express and heal. And she can do it. I did not know enough about such at the time, to explain it to her, but I know now. She has a choice.)
Because of this story, I have been called insensitive, racist, privileged, and any other number of the common knee jerk reactions that people have when you are saying something they do not want to hear and especially if it were something that would require them to make some kind of change. I am none of those. I know this story was put on my heart for a reason. This is not a black folk problem; this is a humanity problem!
The reason, to stop the generational trauma and stories that create fear in our youth, especially our young black males. No one, absolutely no one, deserves to have a foundation of fear! Everyone should be steeped in a foundation of love, acceptance and unconditional hugs. I look back on my brief time as a Prevention Social Worker with Buncombe County Schools and DSS, and I see it then. I wish I had understood then what I do know now. I wish I could have helped some of the families remove some fear from their lives. Fear is a roadblock to love and connection. Today, it is within all of us, this underlying fear of each other. Why? Because the powers that be, media, politicians and so forth, want us to be fearful. Fear keeps us low vibrational and unmotivated. Fear keeps us small and controllable. Fear keeps us divided and disconnected. Power, money and control are the root of all fear and evil. Fear keeps the nuclear family disjointed. Think of how many families are single mothers these days and how many children grow up without a father figure in their lives. FEAR. The antithesis of LOVE.
Take a breath here… Let it seep in just a minute…
Now how did all that lead to the Be the Spark Movement? Love! Releasing fear! Getting to know others! Talking about how we are all way more alike that different! Yea… all that.
When I was talking to my friend Jeffery Martin, that I met on Tik Tok, we were discussing much of the above scenario. We desired to make a change within our world and invite in love, unity, connection and peace within a monthly conversation. Our friend, Jimmy Zest from Uganda, got excited about the possibility and joined us on this journey. The Be the Spark Movement was born out of our love for this crazy place we call the world and the inhabitants that we call humanity. We found a new friend in Karen Klines and witnessed as she has lived the Be the Spark Movement outright, shining her healing light on others as she works within herself. Our group, our movement, continues to touch others in small and huge ways because we believe we are all way more alike than different and it is imperative that we be there for each other regardless of what we have been told to believe or feel. Our awareness of the world is that we all have the choice to live in fear and all that is burdened upon us or slough off the burdens and live from love, unity, connection, peace and purpose. It is all a choice. We do not have to live in fear of each other. Let us join hands in awareness of each other, in awareness of our human condition, in awareness that we have the power to make a change and live in love and peace. What choice are you going to make? Our children and grandchildren will thank us for steeping them in love and awareness and no longer sharing the generational stories of fear and division.
Thank you for hearing my story and my heart. I hope you will join us on our next Be the Spark Movement zoom call. We meet every third Saturday at noon eastern Standard Time. You can join our Facebook page or go to bethesparkmovement.com to join our email list.
Carrie J Myers
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